Empathy in Action: The Power of Validating Someone's Feelings

Imagine a tiny flame flickering within—a representation of your sense of self, your emotions, and your voice. At first, it burns steady, a light tethered to your truth. But over time, as others repeatedly invalidate your feelings or dismiss your experiences, a slow erosion begins. Each dismissal feels like a gust of wind aimed squarely at that flame, shaking its stability and dimming its glow.

The first time someone dismisses your feelings; you may question them instead of yourself. You think, they didn’t understand. Maybe I need to explain more clearly. You summon courage to try again, to express your truth. But the pattern repeats: your words are met with indifference or disbelief, and the fire wavers again. Doubt starts to creep in—not doubt about the other person’s ability to understand, but doubt about whether your emotions and experiences are valid at all.

The constant invalidation becomes a chorus you can’t escape: You’re overreacting. It’s not that bad. It didn’t happen the way you’re saying. These phrases take root in your mind, embedding themselves deep within your psyche. Over time, you begin to internalize them. The voice that was once confident now sounds uncertain: Am I being too sensitive? Maybe I’m imagining things. The flame inside you grows weaker, trembling under the weight of self-doubt.

This erosion of self doesn’t happen suddenly; it’s insidious and gradual, like water wearing down stone. You learn to suppress your emotions to avoid judgment. You silence your voice because you’ve been taught that speaking up will only bring more rejection. You stop trusting your instincts, believing that others must know better than you. What was once a resilient spirit becomes fragile, brittle, easily broken by the slightest gust of criticism or disbelief.

And yet, amidst the darkness, there’s often a quiet rebellion—a tiny, stubborn ember that refuses to go out entirely. It remembers what it felt like to burn brightly, to feel seen and heard. This ember may flicker weakly, buried under years of invalidation, but it holds onto hope. It waits for the moment someone will reach out with empathy, offering not dismissal but understanding. It waits for a chance to reignite.

When someone finally validates your feelings—when they say, I believe you, I hear you, Your experience matters—it feels as though they’ve shielded your flame from the wind, giving it space to grow again. In that moment, the walls of doubt begin to crumble, and you realize how long you’ve carried the weight of others’ dismissal. You start to rebuild trust—not just in others, but in yourself.

The journey to heal from repeated invalidation is not simple. It requires learning to nurture your flame, to protect it even when the wind howls. It demands the courage to reclaim your truth, knowing that it was never lost, only obscured by shadows. And as your fire grows stronger, you discover the resilience you’ve always carried: the ability to shine brightly, even in the face of doubt.